Is it okay to reach out to your ex-boyfriend four years after the breakup to start being friends again?
You ask if reaching out is okay, but I think you should consider what could happen next. What does reaching out to your ex look like and how could that potentially impact your mutual friendships, bring up old feelings or shake things up in your current relationship? Be honest with yourself about what you are hoping to gain and consider all the variations of what it could lead to. If you want to be able to see him around mutual friends without it being awkward, great.
Discuss what you’re feeling and thinking with your current partner. It’s not that you need their permission to be friends with your ex, but, if this is innocent and merely a friendship you hope to reignite, having your partner provide feedback and advice could be helpful. Discussing this with mutual friends you trust could shed some light on how you should proceed, too.Be honest with yourself about what you miss about your ex.
There needs to be synchronicity for a friendship to exist. Your ex needs to be over you, too, and he needs to not harbor any feelings of rejection for a real friendship to flourish. You both have to be able to view the friendship as just that — a friendship like any other. All of this is hearsay though, because neither of us knows if heIf he does: You’ll want to have an understanding of what your parameters around a friendship with him looks like.
If we are lucky to experience a level of intimacy with someone else that we label as love, I don’t know that we ever forget the sense of care and fondness we feel for them. Instead, it’s a matter of focusing on the relationships you can nurture and invest in and wishing those other loved ones well from afar. After all, the truest form of care is in doing so without expectations.
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