Advice: Parent isn’t comfortable allowing their adult son to live in their second home rent-free, but his dad doesn’t want to push him out.
Our youngest graduated from college and moved to our second home. He doesn’t pay rent — or any other bills, for that matter. His girlfriend lives there with him. I don’t have issues with them living there, but I do have issues with my son not working in a real job.
I am able to stand up and give them a date to move out. I’ll be generous. I’d be willing to give him six months. My husband is the problem. He grew up in a dysfunctional household. I truly believe that he’s worried that his son won’t like him if we follow through on making him move.He doesn’t want to talk about it, because it brings him down mentally. It’s causing an issue in our marriage.
Your husband doesn’t want your son to launch. Perhaps he fears that he will never come back, and your husband’s parenting days will be over — forcing him to face his own transition. Many families are facing an unexpected second-launch scenario, because so many young adults came back to live with their folks during the pandemic.You should see “tough love” at this level as potentially tender and affirmative. You might have experienced this when you sent your son to kindergarten, then college.
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