'All the kids started a whirlpool and after a few laps, I felt the urge. I distinctly remember clinging to the side of the pool and yelling for my dad, but my parents couldn’t hear me over the noise of the party...'
"Picture state testing in high school. The class is dead silent. I farted, hoping it would also be silent. It was not. Everyone starts looking around and my best friend looks right at me and mouths, 'Was that you?' I point to my shoe and said it rubbed against the chair and made a squeaking noise. We keep testing. I couldn't believe I got away with it... Until thirty seconds later, when I stress farted FOR A SECOND TIME.
Mortified, I looked up at my dad with a look of shock and fear. Well, from his point of view, the spot on the page looked like a teardrop. He patted my back and told me it was alright to miss grandpa. My dad assumed I started crying about my grandpa, and I was too embarrassed to correct him, so, until this day, no one knows I accidentally drooled onto my grandpa’s funeral guest book. RIP Grandpa Russ.
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