This personal essay explores the author's decision to pause formal extracurricular activities for her two sons for a year after the birth of their daughter. She details the benefits of this unconventional approach, including increased family time, opportunities for unstructured play, and a focus on valuing rest and sanity over external validation. While acknowledging the social pressures and occasional guilt associated with this choice, she ultimately affirms the importance of prioritizing family well-being and adapting to life's changing needs.
Pain radiated from my lower back as I sat along the sidelines of the field. I was 20 weeks pregnant, exhausted, and watching my 7-year-old play soccer on a damp October morning. There’s no way I’m doing this with a newborn, I thought to myself as I considered our family life in future months. My husband and I soon had the conversation with our sons, who were both in early elementary school: For a year after the baby was born, we weren’t going to sign up for any formal activities.
You can’t list “whittling in the backyard” or “climbing the monkey bars” on a college application or CV — but surely they had the rest of their lives to join that exhausting rat race. Or maybe this pause during their early childhoods would model ways to opt out in the future. The decision to simplify our lives made our schedules less complicated — but it didn’t entirely alleviate my mental load. Frankly, sometimes I felt like a bad mom.
Parenting Personal Growth FAMILY LIFE PARENTING Extracurricular ACTIVITIES CHILD DEVELOPMENT WELL-BEING
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