Darnell Mayberry, columnist for Money Talks, reflects on the financial and emotional toll of divorce a year after settling his debt. He discusses the discipline required to recover and how the experience ultimately changed his perspective on money and life.
A year after paying off his divorce debt, Money Talks columnist Darnell Mayberry reflects on the financial and emotional toll of divorce, the discipline it required to recover, and how the experience ultimately transformed his approach to money and life.I sent her my final payment on Sept. 15, 2023. But it will take a few more years for the amount to escape my memory: $304.40. That’s how much I wired without fail on the 15th of every month starting in November 2020.
Sometimes I envy couples that enjoyed a clean break after marriage. Regardless of their result, and the real emotional scars sustained, they had the maturity or mere sense to allow themselves and each other to go on with their lives. To enjoy newfound freedom and flexibility in ways that probably could have helped preserve the marriage. Regrettably, that hasn’t been my reality.
I was determined to pay back my mother all $10,958 even though she insisted it wasn’t necessary. She figured she could deduct it from my inheritance so that I wouldn’t struggle financially when I needed money the most. I figured the mess was mine. I made it, and I needed to clean it. I never missed a monthly payment over those 36 months.
Divorce didn’t just spur me to get smart with money. It also allowed me to live in my truth. Anyone who has gone through a divorce understands the shame, embarrassment and guilt that closely follows the heartbreak. You feel like a failure. When the life you hand-built and proudly shared with the world crashes and burns you feel like a fraud. Never mind the money, the amount of time you can spend managing those feelings alone can take years.
Divorce Debt Finances Recovery Transformation
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