A Tot-ally Tater Tot Tour of Fast Food

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A Tot-ally Tater Tot Tour of Fast Food
Tater TotsFast FoodFood Review
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This article takes a deep dive into the world of fast-food tater tots, ranking four different options from various chains. From Burger King's cheesy tots to Domino's loaded tots and Smashburger's unique Smashtots, the author explores the taste, texture, and overall experience of these potato sidekicks.

When it comes to fast-food restaurants, French fries reign supreme as the #1 side dish. There are constant arguments about which joint cooks up the best version to accompany its burgers, sandwiches, or chicken. And, even Taco Bell–the Taqueria that promises to “Think outside the bun”–throws its hat in the ring with its famed Nacho Fries (it also has chicken nuggets now.

What is the world coming to?) But, there is another fry-adjacent spud that receives much less love in the world of drive-thrus and dives: the humble tater tot. Decidedly different from a breakfast hashbrown, you won’t find tots at McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Chick-fil-A, or the like. The nuggets–originally made from excess potato shavings–are much harder to sniff out. However, I was able to scrounge up four different options to test, taste, and ultimately rank in order of my least to most favorite. Since all of the tots offered their own unique flair, it was a difficult task, but I believe I landed at the most tot-iest tater tots you can find at a fast-food establishment. Tater tots are not necessarily a Burger King mainstay, nor do they take on a classic configuration at the royal palace. In 2016, the chain introduced what it calls “cheesy tots” for the very first time and has brought them back in recent years in December for its “Tis’ the Cheeson” celebration. That means they are still available as of January on nationwide menus, and I picked up a 4-count through the drive-thru for $1.49–8-counts are also available for $2.69. According to BK, the seasonal side starts with its “signature coin-shaped tater tots, filled with melty cheese on the inside, and cooked until crispy on the outside.” The Look: They certainly don’t take on your classic tot shape. Instead, the pieces are formed into flat, circular discs, as promised, and take on a browned coloring. The Taste: The cheesy tots were not what I expected, in both a good and bad way. First, I was taken aback by their freshness. Burger King is often hit or miss in this department–I have been served some onion rings from the chain which could have been from a previous day’s batch. However, these were crisp on the outside, warm on the inside. The problem is that they taste less like tater tots and more like fried macaroni and cheese bites. The inner contents are a jumble of mild-tasting American cheese and shreds that hardly resemble a starchy potato. It’s not a displeasing bite, and they have strong potential if they were to be paired with a side of ranch or marinara sauce. But, you’re looking for a true tot, this isn’t it. Pizza pies are now just a slice of the Domino’s story. In recent years, the chain has placed a larger focus on other offerings including wings, sandwiches, pastas, dips, pasta salads, and other add-ons like tater tots. But, these aren’t just your average, everyday taters. All three tot options come fully loaded with various garnishes. One pays homage to everyone's favorite East Coast hoagie with Philly cheesesteak toppings. Another boasts cheddar, bacon, and ranch. And, the final plateful, which I ordered, comes covered in gobs of mozzarella, provolone, and cheddar cheese, as well as alfredo sauce. It cost me $7.99. The Look: Shareable–which it ought to be for $8–but not as cheesy as I would have hoped. Broiled orange and white cheese tops the wedges at the center, transforming them into one congealed glob, but the tots on the fringes remain bare. The Taste: I thought the Domino’s tots would bear an unfair advantage due to their triple cheese blanket. But alas, they turned out to be just average. The potato hunks themselves are not overly crunchy on the surface and the interior is smooshy to the max, offering a sort of down-home mashed potato essence. The lazily applied fromage was tasteful, albeit burnt at the edges. But, the flavor that takes over even more is the alfredo sauce, which, to me, felt like an unfit addition. Most of us are familiar with the wonder that is Smashfries–Smashburger’s primary potato side order. I for one love that they dare to be different, standing out among the spuds found at other chains like McDonald’s or Wendy’s thanks to their generous coat of rosemary, garlic, and olive oil. And, guess what? They come in tot form too. Intrigued, I snagged a helping of these spruced-up nuggets for $3.39 but also tacked on an order of the $3.29 basic tots for comparison. The burger joint additionally offers what they call Schorchin’ Hot Tots which are tossed in Nashville Hot seasoning, but I decided that taste bud assault would have to wait for a different day. The Look: Both options come in a standard tot shape and size with what appears to be uneven and crunchy coatings. The Smashtots specifically are speckled in green and come swimming in olive oil to the point where the substance pools at the bottom of the plastic cup. The Taste: The most reminiscent of frozen tater tots you would make in the oven at home–which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. They have a decent amount of potato flavor and aren't overly greasy, but they lack the distinct seasoning that makes the Smashfries so unique

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