A Personal Perspective: I wasn’t broken or stupid because I couldn’t see what was going on. The flight-or-freeze response was my nervous system’s innate wisdom to keep me from harm.
, up until this past Tuesday. I’m out on the other side now. Hallelujah. During that time, I did all the things that normally help shift my mood:I even journaled! Which, for the record , I rarely do. I’m not a fan. I know others swear by it; I usually just swear.
Over a FaceTime appointment, Andie said: “You’re in transition in two major areas of your life. That’s a lot.”two pretty significant changes, aren’t they?” But before that conversation, I hadn’t given them any thought, because they were, well… just my life. Not sizeable transitions.I thought. But of course, it is. Slowly as we talked, under that malaise of depression, I felt sadness, and that sadness opening to relief.
I couldn’t see I was going through transitions. Andie reminded me that sometimes I have a tendency to forget about the big picture. When I’m in a vice grip of depression andcan be tunnel vision so we focus solely on things related to our survival such as paths of escape. OurI wasn’t broken or to blame or stupid because I couldn’t see what was going on. I wasn’t in any true danger, but my body didn’t know that. My flight and freeze response was my nervous system’s innate.
Sometimes, talking things through is the way I need to zoom out. Chatting with a friend works, as does talking with Andie when I need more. Andie offers me acknowledgment and validation. She knows me. I trust her. With this connection and trust, it’s safe enough to see the big picture and feel what’s underneath. As a result, I can soften and offer the kindness to myself that she’s offering me.Understanding what emotional intelligence looks like and the steps needed to improve it could light a path to a more emotionally adept world.
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