A Personal Perspective: It's not always easy to want what we have, but when we can get there, everything looks different.
around in my kitchen. A few days later I saw how laughable it was. I can’t find the notebook now and I can’t find the feeling inside myself either. I no longer want what I have in my life, at least not right now. I’ll probably find the notebook and I hope I find the feeling too. Maybe the feeling will last longer the next time around. Maybe it will even be permanent, although, let’s face it, it probably won’t.
“Why?” I said, and they told me they were leaving for Spain then. It turned out they were going to walk the El Camino. They were going to be gone for a month. And that was when my feeling light changed from green to red, and suddenly I saw my whole life in a different way. I no longer wanted what I had in my life. I wanted what they had in their lives.
In the morning before we left for our trip to Wisconsin, my I-want-what-I have light was back on. I looked around my house and loved what I saw: the paint color on the walls, the arched doorways, the way everything in the house reflected my sense of style. On the vacation in a cabin by a lake in Wisconsin, I struggled mightily to want what I had, but I couldn’t get past the feeling that we could have been doing something better. The cabin was tiny and cramped as well as vaguely smelly and grubby. You couldn’t swim in our part of the lake because of algae, and the towels smelled slightly sour when you wiped your face on them.
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