No one asked for this!
My co-workers and I all share a fridge, and up until now, we’ve rotated between each team cleaning out the fridge and tossing unclaimed perishables every Friday. This is a system that, to my knowledge, has worked fine for everyone.
Several months ago, “Florence” was hired in upper management, and without anyone’s consent, has appointed herself as fridge overlord with policies for its use that she sent out via email shortly after she was hired. Her “policies” include everyone labeling every item in the fridge with both their name and the date, and insisting that teams rotate to clean out everything in the fridge at the end of every day. This includes any non-disposable items like Tupperware. She also insists that the fridge be deep-cleaned with soap, water, and disinfectant. No one has time for this! She sends out emails approximately every few days with some kind of criticism regarding the fridge, such as if a certain team was “slacking” on the deep cleaning. Recently, she sent out a harsh email excoriating one of our interns for leaving a partially consumed bubble tea in the fridge, which leaked slightly, even though she cleaned it up that day, and it was on the bottom shelf, so it didn’t leak on anyone else’s items. That day, I saw the intern crying on FaceTime in our courtyard. This is causing unnecessary stress for everyone, as we now feel a need to race to retrieve our belongings before these daily fridge purges, and there is naturally tension among teams as they negotiate who has enough time and bandwidth to clean it out. Someone else on my team simply purchased a mini fridge to keep by her desk, but Florence intervened and said personal appliances weren’t allowed in the office. I’ve never seen this rule in writing, and no one knows what to do. She is in an executive position with a lot of people who report to her, so we don’t want to rock the boat about something so seemingly frivolous, but I would consider this to be a hostile work environment. How do you think this should be approached?Florence, what the hell? How could someone rise to a leadership position while being so petty, cruel, and determined to waste other people’s time? You know this, but just to affirm: These policies are burdensome, wasteful, and unfounded. A once-a-week clean-up withis plenty. And if Florence is competing to be the absolute worst person in your workplace, making the intern cry means she won.It’s possible Florence has undiagnosed or untreated obsessive-compulsive disorder regarding food hygiene. That doesn’t excuse her behavior, but it would suggest solutions. Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to be interested in solutions, since getting her own dang mini-fridge is the obvious one. I also don’t think you have a legal remedy. You describe this as a “hostile work environment,” but the legal definition refers to harassment targeted at people belonging to a This is a time for worker solidarity. You could collectively go on a general strike and refuse to clean out the fridge more than once a week. You could do this unannounced, or get a group to issue a proclamation that you have tried the daily clean-ups and decided they’re not sustainable, and are resuming the weekly schedule.After Over Two Decades on the Job, I Quit. Then I Got a Weird Letter in the Mail From HR.Look for allies in leadership as well. Does anyone at Florence’s level or above on the organizational chart use the office fridge? If so, they might already be irritated that their leftovers are being tossed out at the end of the day and be willing to speak with Florence. It sounds like Florence isn’t your direct manager. If you trust your boss, tell them you’re concerned that Florence’s rules disrupt work and impair productivity . Ask if they or other managers could object to these rules because they are wasting their direct reports’ time. Even her fellow executives might be scared of Florence, but speaking up on behalf of other people might stiffen their spines.Ask your human resources department who has authority over the refrigerator rules . If they’re not aware, they might be irritated that Florence is imposing policies without their say-so. Presumably, HR or building management gets to decide what sorts of personal appliances are allowed. If everyone agrees that the fridge should be deep-cleaned daily, ask if this is a task that could be passed on to the professional office cleaners. It wouldn’t be fair to add this burden to an already underpaid role, but maybe Florence could be made responsible for renegotiating the cleaners’ contract to include daily fridge cleaning.Please keep questions short , and don‘t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.I host an annual holiday party for the women I work with every year. I do not exclude anyone, so some people are close friends, while others are casual acquaintances. One woman who attends the party that I am casually acquainted with always manages to stay hours after everyone leaves, when it is clear the evening is over.I’m talking, everyone leaves at 9 p.m., and she stays until midnight. To make matters worse, this co-worker never invites me to anything she coordinates. At the last party, she openly talked about a holiday party that she hosts days after mine with other co-workers that she invites, but that I am not invited to. I feel taken advantage of and hurt that I am not invited. If I do not invite her, it would be obvious, and I would feel bad . I didn’t have the party this year because of this situation, and I’ve been having it for 10-plus years. Everyone looks forward to it and was disappointed that I did not have it this year. I feel like there’s no good solution without confronting her, which I do not want to do. I do not want to invite her to the party, and I do not enjoy her company. How can I fix this awkward situation and restore the fun?This co-worker does sound insensitive, but that quality comes in two flavors. Talking about parties you’re not invited to could be. Staying late at your party suggests she does enjoy your company but doesn’t notice unstated social expectations. Try telling her clearly When you send out invitations for next year’s party, specify that it starts at 6 p.m. and ends at 9 p.m. If this co-worker doesn’t leave at the stated end time, say apologetically but briskly: “It’s great to catch up, but I have to end the party now. Thanks for coming!” And please do host next year if you can. The party sounds lovely, and it’s generous to invite and give them a chance to socialize informally outside the office environment.I am extremely anti-AI and know very little about how to use it. I hate what it’s doing to our capacity for critical thinking and the arts, and the effect it’s having on communities where the data centers are being built. I honestly judge people when they use it in their day-to-day for things they could just do themselves. I understand that it could be a helpful technological advance in some areas, but I’m just not sure how to square that with all the downsides.But lately, I’ve gotten increasingly anxious that I’m going to be left behind. There’s still a lot of career left for me. I’ve worked with people who didn’t really know how to use computers before. It was tedious to have to show them, click by click, how to do basic things the intern was capable of. A lot of them just relied on someone whoknow how to do things on the computer to do it for them. I don’t want to become that person, and I can’t help but feel that this is where we’re headed—that if I don’t learn how to use an “agent” , I’ll become a dinosaur in the corporate world all before I’m even 35. How do I navigate this? Can I really just ignore this forever? Am I hurting myself in the process?I Was Invited to a Friend’s Beach Vacation. What One Couple Plans to Do There Is Just Too Weird for Me!My Husband’s Sister Says Our Request to Her Would “Be Like Incest.” This Is Crazy.. So, no, I don’t think being anti-AI is the same as being anti-computer back in the day. to think about what skills you’ll need as workplaces evolve and how to square that with your principles. Unlike computers, though, especially in their early days, AI is super easy to use. That’s one reason it’s so seductive—AI gives people the illusion that it makes.) If your current or future job one day requires you to use some form of AI for a certain task, and if you decide it’s worth using, it won’t take you long to figure out how. If you’re asked about your enthusiasm for AI in a job interview, emphasize your problem-solving skills, ability to quickly learn new systems, and your thoughtfulness about how to use tools efficiently and safely. In the meantime, let’s hope you can watch the AI hype fade before it does too much more damage.I met my now husband of over 20 years after I had bought my home. I am a visible minority immigrant while my husband is white, blond-haired, and blue-eyed—essentially the picture of the typical successful male. He is an amazing friend, partner, and awesome husband, and although he came into the relationship with financial baggage , we have worked hard to eradicate those and have used my first home as a stepping stone to upgrade to bigger and more expensive property. We now own acreage, put our kids through private school, and recently bought a second property that our kids are using and paying rent for. The issue is that my husband’s family is under the belief that our financial situation is due to him alone…
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