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Worried about stumbling before a high-stakes event, like a race or a job interview? Psychologist Cindra Kamphoff offers creative strategies to overcome the jitters and build confidence in the moment.
Don't let negative thoughts or fear mess with your performance. Psychologist Cindra Kamphoff, who helps athletes and business leaders keep their confidence in high-stakes situations, offers anxiety-busting tools from her new book.
In 2012, psychologist Cindra Kamphoff was running a marathon. Then at Mile 22, her self-doubt started to kick in. She remembers telling herself,"This is dumb. Why am I doing this?
" But Kamphoff, who works with top athletes on how to overcome performance anxiety — including from the Minnesota Vikings and USA Track & Field — was prepared. She had written positive phrases on her arm that she could read when she needed a boost during the race:"I'm strong, I'm fast, I'm fit, I'm ready.
", published in September. The book offers creative ways to manage fear and negativity — like pretend-flushing your mistakes down the toilet — before, during and after a high-stakes task. These tools can be applied to any situation, whether it's a race, work presentation or a job interview. The goal is for people to"be their best in the moments that matter most to them," she says.
Move on quickly with"learn, burn, return" Maybe you fumble the ball in a big game or forget the lines in your school play and can't stop thinking about it afterward. She suggests a tool she calls"learn, burn, return" to build back your confidence and keep your goals in reach. Try this if you fumble mid-performance, or as a way to reflect after the event.
Think of a motion or a cue you can use to remind yourself to move on quickly. Kamphoff says you can snap your fingers, say"that fast" or"you might literally pretend to flush a toilet.
"Using the same motion or phrase every time you"burn" helps your brain strengthen new neural pathways when it comes to moving through anxiety, she says. Now it's time to build yourself back up. Remind yourself,"you got this, you're doing the best that you can," says Kamphoff. Kamphoff wrote these positive phrases on her arm to combat self-doubt during a 2012 marathon.
She says they helped her run even faster — and she even went on to win the race in her division. When Kamphoff wrote positive messages on her arm to motivate her during her marathon, they worked because she was giving her brain evidence that she could be successful. As Kamphoff repeated these phrases during her race, her pace picked up.
She ended up not only winning the race in her division, but running her last four miles the fastest out of any part of the marathon. Kamphoff chose phrases that reminded her of her love for running — and that she had trained for hundreds of miles to run the race. Instead of focusing on one perfect outcome, set a range of goals for yourself. Kamphoff recommends creating a"gold, silver and bronze goal," she says.
Let's say you're running the mile in track. Your bronze goal might be running a time you're generally happy with, your silver goal might be to run a personal best, and your gold goal might be to win the race. This can help decrease anxiety and increase confidence by removing the pressure of one ideal performance and shifting focus to the present moment. Especially because"an outcome is something you can't control," she says.
If you're feeling overcome with negative thoughts right before a job interview or a big test, ask yourself three questions:This method is similar to other frameworks, like acceptance commitment therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy. It can pause negative thoughts and help you get back to the present moment.
For example, if you walk into a job interview thinking,"If I don't ace this, I'll never get another job," this exercise can challenge that thought. And it can help you find a more positive, grounded alternative:"Even if I don't get this job, I know I'm capable of success and that there are better opportunities for me.
""You get to decide in the moment, are you going to be confident? " she says. "Many times the action of confidence comes before the feeling, and it's a skill. ".
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Marielle Segarra is a reporter and the host of NPR's Life Kit, the award-winning podcast and radio show that shares trustworthy, nonjudgmental tips that help listeners navigate their lives. KPBS keeps you informed with local stories you need to know about — with no paywall. Our news is free for everyone because people like you help fund it.
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