People tend to procrastinate when they're trying to avoid negative emotions. Here's why—and how to stop, by jwebbphd
It’s Wednesday and Gayle is hosting a large party at her house on Saturday for her parents’ 35th wedding anniversary. She knows there’s a lot to do to prepare, but time has seemingly slipped away without thinking about food, decorations, or cleaning for the big day. She decides she’ll get serious about it all tomorrow after work.
Thursday evening rolls around and Gayle feels tired and full of dread. She spent her entire day at work trying to push down her nagging thoughts about the party and all the unfinished tasks she has yet to do. Even still, she curls up in a ball and falls asleep to reruns on TV feeling guilty andIt’s Friday and Gayle knows she can’t postpone any longer. She spends hours on the phone with caterers trying to find someone that’s available last minute.
When you grow up with childhood emotional neglect, you learn to ignore your emotions. But your emotions are the foundation of who you are. So, when you ignore them, you are also ignoring valuable information about yourself. Your emotions send you messages and can guide you to positive choices. If Gayle were to listen to her feelings, she’d learn that she was feeling worried and fearful that her party wouldn’t be good enough. She wanted so badly to please her parents and make them proud. The thought of hosting the perfect party was daunting and overwhelming, feelings that Gayle wanted to push down. Rather than face these uncomfortable feelings, Gayle found it easier to avoid their cause.
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