There are 5 main ways people cope with breakups, according to new research.
Breakups, especially those which are unwanted, generally unfold as particularly painful experiences. Often, they trigger a range of behaviors that reflect how we regulate loss, In a recent study, researchers asked 118 adults to describe how they would cope with the end of athey wanted to continue.
From these responses, they identified 84 distinct behaviors, which were organized into 16 coping strategies, and further grouped into five broader patterns of coping.away from the relationship , followed by seeking support and social withdrawal. Less commonly, participants reported coping throughand age differences also emerged: Women were more likely to seek support, while men were more likely to report casual sex or, a common phenomenon following breakups. After a breakup, people often shift from relational identity back to individual identity .I would try to win him/her backI would distance myself from anything related to him/herI will try to think about the reasons why the relationship endedI will try to process the events and understand the real reason for ending this relationship. Generally, having a greater understanding of the demise of a relationship can actually support growth. However, when excessive, it can become rumination, prolonging negative affect.8. Positive ReframingI would try to think that I deserve someone betterI would try to think that this partner is not right for meI would try to think that this outcome is better for meI would pursue a postgraduate degree/postgraduate trainingI would seek psychological support from relatives 11. Keep Myself BusyI would keep myself busy so that I don’t have time to think about itThis is one of the most commonly-endorsed strategies, which is helpful in the short run, but not as effective for long-term recovery.I would ask friends for advice on how to deal with itI would discuss ending the relationship with an opposite-sex friendI would seek to engage in a creative/artistic activityThe research suggests that most people move between strategies: distracting themselves one day, reflecting the next, or trying reaching out, pulling back, reframing, or revisiting the past. The process is less about choosing the “right” strategy and more about recognizing which ones move you toward integration and which keep you ruminating and, ultimately, stuck.Apostolou, M., Hadjiantoni, M., & Lajunen, T. J. . Strategies for coping with the end of a desirable intimate relationship: An exploratory study. Evolutionary Psychology.Find a Relationship Issues TherapistSelf Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.
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