Sometimes playing nice isn't nice. It's a passive-aggressive way to virtue signal and pull moral rank in the middle of a fight.
If you've ever been irritated by someone's peace offering, it might be their fake PR virtue signaling.Predict what will only make your opponent defensive, and bite your tongue about that for now.A friend sends you an email to try to put a fight to rest. You can tell that they want to patch things up, but it’s not working. You can’t put a finger on why their message is so irritating. They’re saying all the right things, but they don’t sound human.
Maybe that’s the problem. They’re not being real with you. They’re talking from their aspirational self. It’s a performance. They’re displaying a public front, their wannabe self. It feels like you’re talking to the cardboard cutout behind which they’ve retreated. Now, if you’ve ever had to write a public apology, it might have been just what the PR department recommended. Check all the appropriate boxes. State as fact that you’re humble, open-minded, and apologetic. Put on the appropriate mask of contrition. Ask forto your actual errors. Don’t show any real curiosity about your contribution to the problems. Just signal that you could, and are even though you aren’t.
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