Setting boundaries with your parents can improve your relationship. Therapists share practical advice for how to have these conversations.
and then change the subject to something more interesting. If you know they meant it as compliment, you can acknowledge that upfront and then say you’d still prefer your body not be a topic of conversation.If you need to set a firmer boundary, you might say: “What you’re saying — or suggesting — right now is hurtful,” Caraballo said. “If you can’t stop talking about my body or eating habits, then I’m going to have to leave this conversation.
If you wanted their guidance, you’d say so. When you get advice you didn’t ask for, it can be annoying or even hurtful.“The adult child can feel like they’re being criticized, treated like a kid, or viewed as incompetent,” Howes said. “Interestingly enough, this often comes from the parent’s fear that they did an inadequate job of equipping their child for adulthood.”“Thank you for raising me to be a confident and responsible decision-maker, that was a wonderful gift.
Normally, you might be so unsettled by your parents being upset with you that you’d book a flight home anyway to try to smooth things over. Perhaps, growing up, your family took a vacation to the same spot every August. But with your limited PTO, you’d prefer to spend that time off volunteering. Or maybe you visited your parents every Sunday for dinner for years and years. And now that you have kids, you’d rather occasionally spend the day at your own house instead of driving back and forth to Grandma and Grandpa’s.
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