Odds are you'll still be thinking about these jokes years from now.
jokes Quora users found so funny that they still think about them today, and then we wrote a couple moremembers shared their own unforgettable jokes. Here are 50 of the best jokes from the series...plus some hilarious new submissions:"The world’s greatest Spanish speaking magician was just about to perform his final act. He shouted 'Uno! Dos!…' and disappeared without a tres."
"A blonde, brunette, and redhead are on the run from police and take cover in a barn. The best hiding spot available is behind large sacks of potatoes. It isn't long before the police arrive at the farm and enter the barn. As the police look around with their flashlights, the girls stay completely still and silent. A spider crawls across one of their legs, prompting her to kick it off — that made a slight noise. The police approach the sacks of potatoes and listen for another noise.
"The next morning she wakes up early and creeps to the kitchen. She gets the gizzard and inner turkey parts she was going to give to their cat, and instead silently places them on the bed next to her husband.'I guess you were right after all, Agnes... I farted my guts out overnight!'"A little old lady goes to her doctor for a checkup. The doctor asks her if she is having any problems. 'Yes doctor, I have a problem. I have to fart a lot. I fart all the time.
"Sure enough, a few days later, she enters the pharmacy, goes up to the young man working the counter, and says, 'Young man, I would like to buy a condom, please.' The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.
"So he orders seven beers and drinks them, six beers and drinks them, five beers and drinks them, and then finally four beers. After drinking these last four beers, he says to the bartender:"Two sisters inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 available.
The telegraph operator said he'll be glad to help her, then adds, 'It's 99 cents a word.' Well, after paying for the bull, she only had one dollar, enough to send one word.The operator shakes his head.
'I’m yer neighbor from the cabin about a mile down the road. Anyhow, I’m having a party on Saturday, and I wondered if you’d like to come.' 'Well, I’m sure that’s OK. I used to drink quite a bit myself back in the city, so I think I’ll be alright with a bit of hard liquor.'But as he turns to go, he pauses again and turns back. 'Yeah, I should also mention: Most likely there will also be a bit of fighting before the evening finishes.'
"A man tells his doctor, 'Help me doctor, I'm addicted to Twitter!' The doctor responds, 'Sorry, I don't follow you...'""Three old ladies sitting on a bench in the park. A completely naked man runs past them. Two of them had a stroke. One wasn't fast enough." So the priest says, 'Oh, so that’s when you said it, then.' He said, 'No, because I took my wedge and hit it, and it wound up on the green, about six inches from the cup.'
"As a natural blonde, into my 40s, I LOVE collecting blonde jokes. My favorite: Two blondes walk into a bar, super happy and excited. They order their drinks, and the bartender overhears them a few times saying 'Two weeks!' while clinking their glasses or high-fiving in celebration.
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