Consider creating a new bonding ritual.
”—anthropologist Robin Dunbar’s theory that the human brain can only successfully maintain 150 meaningful ties. Smaller circles exist within this number: You might have 50 loose social connections you’d consider friends—people you’d love to invite to a massive party, say—and 15 friends you see more regularly. The innermost ties number about, on average.
As for what makes for a strong friendship, “The highest qualities are reciprocity, interdependence, and emotional intimacy,” Kelaher says. The give and take of reciprocity will ebb and flow in a healthy bond, as will interdependence . Emotional intimacy is the cornerstone of a close friendship—the quality that separates casual friends from super-tight ones. “It’s the stuff that makes for those soulmate friendships,” Kelaher continues.
Once you’ve articulated the mode and frequency that feels right for both of you , be as consistent as possible. If you have a regular weekly hang, stick to it as best as you can. “Energy flows where attention goes,” Sniderman says. “So the more energy that you want to and can put towards a friendship, the more likely it’ll flourish.”When you do grab some time together: “Skip the small talk and get real,” Sniderman says.
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