Are you more supportive of others than you are of yourself? Here's how to change that.
People are often capable of giving good advice to their best friends, but find it hard to speak as lovingly to themselves.
This is something most of us have in common: We are capable of good advice for our best friends. This advice might sound like, “You deserve better,” or “Apply for the job; the worst they could say is no.” It might even be as simple as, “Let it go.” So, have you ever noticed that it’s harder to speak so lovingly to yourself?
In this example, what would your best friend say? They might remind you of how qualified you are for the job, how much the company would miss out on by not hiring you, and if you don’t get it another job will be lucky to have you. Sounds better! How come it’s so easy to say that to someone else? Well, we wouldn’t have very many friends if we talked to them the way we talk to ourselves. Instead, we learned to be supportive, caring, and encouraging in order to maintain meaningful relationships.1.
and restrictive behaviors. A true friend tells it like it is with the hopes of helping you, not bringing you down.If you are having trouble knowing if your self-talk is helpful or unhelpful, picture your best friend’s response to what you are saying. Would he roll his eyes and say, “Give me a break!” or would he give you thumbs up and an encouraging, “I agree!” Many friends when they hear a negative statement will tell you exactly how nuts they think you sound.
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