Putting a grudge to rest isn’t always easy. As a psychologist, I know they can drag on for months or even years.
Holding a grudge against someone is common for most of us. A neighbor insults us, our boss criticizes us or a friend betrays us, and we begin to resent them. While it’s human nature to get upset at being treated badly, holding on to ill will can hurt our mental health.of 20 grudge holders, researchers found that harboring resentment could reinforce upsetting thoughts, lower self-esteem and make negative feelings fester. AnotherDespite these downsides, putting a grudge to rest isn’t always easy.
Feeling hurt or betrayed by someone who never owned up to their actions is one cause. For example, maybe your best friend spilled your secrets, or a family member treated you poorly, but they never apologized. In these instances, grudges can be a warning sign, protecting us from future hurt. Your answers can help you decide what to do next. For example, if your grudge is making you anxious or depressed, you could decide to talk with a trusted friend or therapist.helps regulate upsetting emotions, which may allow us to release the hurt and anger that often fuels ill will, according to the study.Even better, try to identify how you’re feeling before you exercise and note what’s different afterward.
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