Research from the Gottman Institute reveals four common communication pitfalls that often mean the couple is headed for divorce.
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“Out of all of , contempt is the most dangerous predictor, and it’s referred to as the relationship killer,” she says. “Left unaddressed, these behaviors will eventually evolve into percolating resentment over the years.” “It is not unusual for even satisfied couples to occasionally slip into criticism and defensiveness. Even occasional stonewalling has been observed. Contempt, however, is only observed in couples whose relationships were on the path to failure,” he explains. Polinder says the best way to address any of these issues is to do so head on. “If you notice any or all of these arguing styles in your relationship, the best way to approach it is to talk about them with your partner,” she advises.
“The No. 1 skill you can cultivate to improve your relationship is to learn to empathize with your partner,” Polinder says. “Research shows that individuals will not move forward in a conversation until they feel that the other party understands their position.” And until the person feels understood, they'll be less inclined to compromise or listen to another point of view.
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