'He thought babies didn't open their eyes until they were 3 to 4 months old.'
I'm a Senior Staff Writer who writes a wide range of topics, spanning from people's real-life drama to pop culture to funny things I find on the internet.to share the dumbest thing someone they were dating said.
After reading these, I can see why some of these couples broke up. Here are the funniest ones:"I was really late for work and ran out the front door in a panic, leaving my mobile phone on the table. Upon arriving back after work, I picked up my phone to check for missed calls, only to find my ex had sent a message saying, 'Darling, you have left your phone at home.'""A woman I dated years ago, as we were enjoying a cocktail outside one evening, looked up to the sky and said, 'Isn’t it cool the way the sun becomes the moon at night?' I broke up with her.""On my first date with this beautiful young woman, I happened to get a flat tire on the way to the restaurant. While changing the tire, she made the comment, 'How come a flat is always on the bottom of the tire?' She was serious about her question.""When my ex-husband and I first met, he told me his nickname was Velle, and he didn’t know why they called him that. I asked what his middle name was, and he said LaVelle.""My now-ex husband, when I was 32, asked me if I knew how to put gas in my car. He had never helped me do it before, and I had my own cars since I was 16.""While watching the last seconds of a sunset at the beach, when the sun flattened out, my girlfriend asked, 'Do you think it’s an optical illusion?'""I had prepped a bath for my 2-month-old baby. As I was holding the baby, about to put her in her little bathtub and testing the water again, I realized it needed to be a little warmer. I told my husband the bathtub needed a shot of hot water and asked if he could get that. When he came back into the room, he literally poured hot water into the tub from a drinking shot glass.""My ex-husband walked into the house one day with the turn signal lever in his hand. He said the turn signal wouldn't shut off no matter what he did. Frustrated, he ripped it off the steering column. I went out to the car to try to see what the problem was, and the hazard lights were on. He didn't know what hazard lights were and thought it was the turn signal malfunctioning.""My now ex-husband refused to stop at the library so I could get a book. He said we didn't have extra money for books that week. I had to explain that the library was free to everyone.""I could not teach her military time no matter how many times I explained it. She was hot, but she had to go.""My ex and I were driving across a Midwestern state, and my arm got sunburned from the open window and resting my arm on the door. She said to me, 'That’s OK. The other arm will get sun on the way back, right?'""I pointed out how well the bricks were laid out to have a full brick on the top row. She said perhaps they started from the top down.""My significant other and I had just gotten to a movie theater when the unprecedented happened. I started my period a full week early in a new white silk dress, no less, and was unprepared for it. He was about to buy tickets when I told him our date was off due to my predicament, and he said, 'Can’t you just hold it until the movie’s over?'""I dated a woman I worked with in my early 20s. She thought there were two types of chicken eggs: the kind you buy in the market to eat and the kind that become chickens. She was convinced my coworkers and I were messing with her, so that night she asked her mom, who agreed with her. Needless to say, the relationship did not last very long.""I had just started dating a guy and mentioned to him that I had olive skin. He looked at me in disbelief and said, 'But you're not green.'""A guy I dated thought that all women started their period on the first of every month. I mentioned on July 7th or 8th that I was feeling extra sensitive and crying more easily because I had just started my period. We were breaking up, obviously, and I was crying but wasn't that sad. He gave me a confused look and said, 'But it's not the first?' Then I had to explain to this 30-year-old man, who had grown up with sisters, that not everyone's period aligns with the first of the month.""I knew a guy who insisted that his blow dryer died because it 'ran out of air,' as if there was an air attachment on it that could be refilled and replaced.""My boyfriend bought a skillet with a metal handle so it could be put in the oven. He thought because it was safe for the handle to be in the oven that he didn't need oven mitts to pull it out. He fully grabbed the metal handle with his bare hand and then got mad. He was in his 40s.""My boyfriend had been having a difficult mental health week and said, 'Do men have hormones? I feel like mine are outta whack.'""My friend dated a guy who thought babies didn't open their eyes until they were 3 to 4 months old.""I once briefly dated a guy who thought sweetened coffee had zero calories because 'the sugar has dissolved, so it’s not there.'""In college, I did a lot of theater and dated a fellow actor. We were at an audition once, and everyone was doing cold reads of scenes. His scene was a group of guys talking about plans after college. Reading from the script, he said, 'I want to travel to Europe, maybe check out Pra-goo.' Prague. The line was to check out Prague.""I have an ex who was a Marine and absolutely studied military history. He thought that Lincoln was our second president after Washington. It absolutely hurt my brain.""I live near the border of Wisconsin and Illinois, and there’s a town nearby called Woodstock. My boyfriend was absolutely convinced that it was the famous Woodstock and wondered where they held the big-ass festival in the town. When I pointed out that Woodstock the festival was not affiliated with Woodstock the Illinois town, he didn’t believe me.""My ex, when I told him I had a meeting with the Dean of Liberal Arts, said, 'Why isn’t there a Dean of Conservative things, too? This is why Republicans say they hate colleges! Y’all could fix politics so fast.'""My ex thought that the Underground Railroad had to do with trains and he used to live in the same area that Harriet Tubman was from.""I went to the opera with a guy. After it ended and the house lights turned on, he said, loud enough for others to hear, 'I like how they did that with so little dialogue!' He was not trying to be funny.""When I asked my ex if he had a vaporizer to smoke weed with, he said yes, and this man proceeded to pull out a HUMIDIFIER! He thought you could just put the weed in the basin where the water would go.""My first serious boyfriend was 26 when he found out his blinds weren’t 'fox' wood... they were faux wood blinds. I had to explain to him that it was French.""I once dated someone who would not accept that people are animals. She kept saying, 'We're people! Not animals! How can we be both?!' She couldn't understand how we could possibly fall into more than one category.""An ex of mine was having body odor issues, so one day I brought it up in the nicest way possible by asking him what his favorite deodorant brand was. His reply? 'Men don't wear deodorant, only women do.'""Doctor asked him, 'How did you get food poisoning twice from the same dish?' He said, 'Hey doc, whatever doesn’t off ya only makes you stronger.' The doctor replied, 'No, it actually makes you incredibly sick.'" And lastly,"I was in a fight with my now ex-boyfriend, and at one point in the argument, I said, 'Do you need me to reiterate!?' to which he replied, 'NO! I want you to repeat yourself!!!' I then yelled back, 'What do you think REITERATE MEANS?!' I've never heard such a humiliating silence in my life. It was glorious."What's the dumbest thing someone you were dating ever said? Tell us in the comments or use the anonymous form below:
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