'He nonchalantly told me on the drive to the church that if I 'got fat' after the wedding, he would leave me and never contact me again. I asked him to pull over, got out of the car, and walked to my mother's house, canceled the wedding, and blocked him.
As a Senior Staff Writer at BuzzFeed, I cover real-life stories that explore relationships, lifestyle , and the internet's most fascinating trends.who canceled their weddings at the last minute to tell us why.
Former brides revealed the shocking reasons they suddenly called off their weddings and decided not to get married — and what happened next — and I'm 100% speechless. Here's what they had to say:"It was 30 years ago. I called mine off one month before the date. Invitations were already mailed out. I had recently bumped into a childhood friend and had big feels. We had never dated or even hung out, except for riding the bus together. I realized that if I was feeling this way about this man, I had no business marrying another. It made me realize my ex and I were just going through the motions. He was the first guy I had sex with, and I thought that meant I had to be with him forever. I recognize now that we had very little in common, and there were so many red flags — from both of us. It was not a good match. I ended up marrying the childhood friend I bumped into. Later, my dad said, 'At least you love this one.'""He didn't want to marry me, and I could feel it in my bones. I had poured all of myself into our life, supporting him on two different dream career tracks while grinding hard in my own career. I bought us a house, paid off his debts to the best of my ability, just absolutely dragging us through adulthood with sheer willpower. I wanted to build a good, stable life and be a good, supportive life partner. I wanted to have a family and a happy, safe home, things I didn't get as a kid. That man did not even like me. He liked the life I was providing him. He knew if he didn't commit, I'd eventually move on, and he'd have to find a new meal ticket. I didn't realize it at first, but then, it slowly crept into every fiber of my being, like a cold you just cannot get warm from. I told him I didn't want to get married, a month out from the day. I had planned it all alone, paid it all alone, and knew it would be a death sentence, somehow." "I had to convince him it wasn't him, and that I just didn't want ever to get married; I had to play into it being some outdated social construct. Immediately after that conversation, I started hiding money in the pages of my favorite childhood books. It took me a year to fully leave the relationship. I had to burn my life to the ground and lost pretty much everything I had worked for, as well as pretty much everyone in my life, and he turned out to be a much, much worse person than I had realized. That was about a decade ago now. I haven't been asked out on a date since, so I'm still not married. But I do have a new, happy, safe home, and I have built a lovely little found family. If I hadn't called it off, I would be dead. I didn't know it then." "I cut contact with my family. They were forcing the marriage, and it wasn't until it started feeling real that I realized I didn't want the future they were pushing me to. He was a 'good man from a moral family' who didn't like me or even treat me decently. When I found out he was sleeping around while I was trying to be perfect and plan a wedding, it kinda pushed me into realizing I'd never force a child of mine into the same situation." "He casually informed me the morning of the wedding that I would be his SIXTH wife! He had NEVER told me that he had even one ex-wife, let alone five! I left him and have no regrets.""I kicked my fiancé out and started to get to know a guy I worked with; we started seeing each other, started dating, and now we're here. Talking marriage, kids, house. I feel like I was always the serious one in the relationship. I was also the only one with any money, ever, and he was the breadwinner. He had no savings, was constantly in and out of debt, and by the time I called it off, he would barely touch me. No kissing, no hand holding, nothing. I was lucky to get a hug. I could feel in my bones that something was wrong, and it wasn't gonna work out. I'm just glad I didn't marry him and absolutely tank my finances because he was a money pit." "I called off the wedding a month before after accidentally meeting his 'girlfriend.' We had no communication for two years when he contacted me and said how sorry he was, that he had grown up and realized I was the one. I accepted the apology, and we planned another wedding. I cried at my wedding, and it wasn't tears of joy. I knew I was making a mistake. A week after the wedding, he confesses that he was living with the 'girlfriend from before' and 'living with her convinced me to marry you.' Ten years and three kids later, I divorced him — best decision I ever made.""A week before my scheduled wedding, my friend invited one of his buddies to come to lunch with us . The new guy was very charming and funny. He stopped me in the hall later that week and said, 'We should get married this weekend. We would be perfect together.' There was just something special about him, and we had unbelievable chemistry from the moment we met. I called off the wedding two days later, just three days before the big day. We married a year later and are still perfect for each other after almost 40 years together! My ex-family used to put a lot of pressure on me. We had been together through high school and college. I think we were more accustomed to each other and together so long that marriage became an expectation rather than an actual desire. I felt like the weight of the world was off my shoulders the moment I called it off.""He told me that he always kind of wanted to sleep with my sister and me at the same time. No thanks, I don't want to get involved with a guy like that for the rest of my life.""We decided to get married three months into the relationship so 'we could be together' under one visa because I was going to study overseas. He was 33, divorced, with a stubborn 3-year-old who hadn't heard the word 'no.' With a time difference of over five hours, I had to give up my sleep because he wanted to speak to me when I woke up, and I had to stay up 'til he finished work and spoke to me. Multiple texts and/or calls one after the other if I fell asleep or was unavailable. The codependency, psychotic behavior, and anger issues started showing quite fast." "I practically had to choose between him and my education and career. I had had enough at one point, but I didn't want to disappoint my parents because what would they tell all these guests if the wedding was canceled?!"I called off my wedding almost 15 years ago now . I was dating a guy who, in hindsight, was a bum and would often refuse to work, didn't help me at all with the house, and there's a laundry list of issues…but I was 19, dumb, and had just found out I was pregnant. We planned a quick wedding — nothing fancy, just a small ceremony and reception, which my parents paid for. I stayed at my parents' house the night before, and my mom came in to check on me the next morning. I guess I seemed off because she lay down beside me, held my hand, and said, 'You know you don't have to marry him just because you're pregnant. Come back home, we'll help you with whatever we can.'"I sobbed. She picked up the phone and took care of the rest; she told him we would work out a co-parenting deal and that she was sure I'd call him when I was ready. She said he was cool about it and was like, 'Alrighty, I'm going back to bed.'""He nonchalantly told me on the drive to the church that if I 'got fat' after the wedding, he would leave me and never contact me again. I asked him to pull over, got out of the car, and walked to my mother’s house, where I explained the situation, canceled the wedding, and blocked him.""I called off my wedding four months before the day. I was supposed to marry my high school sweetheart. I had zero motivation to plan my wedding. At that four-month mark before the wedding, I only had a venue. I didn't have a photographer, a cake, or a DJ. Deep down in my heart, I knew we had grown apart and were practically living separate lives under the same roof. I had started to develop feelings for someone else, and I believe that that doesn't happen if you're truly in love with someone. I called my dad and told him I couldn't marry my fiancé, and he understood. On the other hand, my mom didn't understand and told my fiancé before I could. He was rightfully very upset, and we didn't end things well."I do regret how things went down, but I don't regret the decision to end things. It's been five years since then, and I'm about to marry the man I developed feelings for, and I'm happier than I've ever been.""I would have gotten married if my brother hadn't shown me a picture; I wouldn't have known he had been seeing different women — and they knew each other because they were all with him in the picture. Sure, it could just be friends, but then I would sometimes go through his phone and see a group chat with three other people with him, and there were a lot of heart emojis. I packed up with my brother in our shared house a day before the wedding and left the ring by his phone with a note. I am still single.""I found out the day of my wedding, while getting my makeup done, that my soon-to-be husband was on Tinder. I found out because while GETTING READY FOR OUR WEDDING, he had matched with one of the guests' cousins and was actively messaging her, trying to plan to see her before we went on our honeymoon! She just happened to send the wedding guest a picture of him, who immediately came and told me. If she hadn't sent that picture, I would have 100% married him. I was so in love. I didn't say anything to anyone other than my family and left. I sent my brothers to get my stuff and dogs from our shared house and never spoke to him again.""I met my fiancé when we were 16, and we stayed together until we went to separate universities. It was on and off for those years; he told me that he had a child as a result of a short relationship, but the baby had been adopted. I forgave him, and we planned our wedding. A month before the wedding, he admitted that he was supporting the child and its mother. If he had been open about that when we got engaged, I could have lived with it, but lying about such an important issue was the problem. I called off the wedding. I have been happily married for more than 50 years now.""I caught my husband-to-be being intimate with my maid of honor on our wedding day. My friends tried to tell me, and I wouldn't listen. What could either of them say? They were caught. I immediately went to my dad, calmly told him what happened, and then walked down the aisle by myself and announced to the invited guests that the wedding was off." "Then, I asked them to collect any gifts they brought and take them back, as well as to enjoy the reception. Food, drinks, and cake were already paid for. I then marched down the aisle and left for a solo honeymoon, which he'd fully paid for. Less than three months later, he married her, and after two kids in three years, he left her for another woman"I was engaged to a guy who was 30 years old with no car or bank account. He only had a phone because I paid for it, and he worked 25 hours/week at Home Depot. When my mom died, he flew with me to my hometown for the funeral, and we stayed with my sister. She noticed something was off and went through his suitcase, and that’s how I found out he was addicted to heroin. He flew back home and missed the funeral. When I got back, I decided to help him get sober, and he did quit, but then he struggled with alcoholism so much that he drank himself into pancreatitis. One day, while I was at work, he called me saying he was having a pancreatitis attack and needed me to take him to the hospital." "I couldn't leave, but one of my coworkers offered to pick him up and drive him to the ER. While he was in the hospital,"I called it off after multiple issues: The dress and shoes I ordered were discontinued. OK, I can try to find something else. Then, the hotel booked the wedding, but not our stay for a week-long reservation — this was in Mexico! We needed a place to stay. Luckily, our tickets were refundable. Then, our invites were printed wrong, too! I even double-checked them. Printer error?!? Far too many red flags. When the universe tells you NO, it's time to listen.""I just panicked. I was way too young to get married , and I didn't really know the guy I was going to marry, who, by the way, was 10 years older than me. He seemed nice, but I hadn't known him for over three months. His family was really rude to me. They made a lot of rude comments about how they were from a much wealthier background than I was, and my fiancé may have been nice to me, but he didn't defend me whatsoever against these classist remarks." "I felt like I had so much more I wanted to do before getting married, so many more dates I wanted to go on.I wish things had ended more amiably, but I did what I had to do, and I've never regretted it.""I called off my engagement because I met someone through work that I had a wild pull toward, just this intense feeling like I needed to get to know him. We never spoke, just polite hellos when we'd see each other. I couldn't get him off my mind, though. A year later, I broke things off with my fiancé and pursued this guy, not knowing if he was even single. Well, he was, and now we're getting married this August.""At first, I was so excited that I found someone I felt was my best friend and match. Then, I noticed his mood changed, and he became angrier when he spoke to me. He became distant. When I confronted him about this change, I felt that I was being blamed for being too sensitive and overreacting. Also, he was very secretive about his phone and where he would go. It became too much for me one night, and I canceled the wedding. It felt liberating to do it and not have a date. That moment was a wake-up call for him. I'm an independent woman and a professional. I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel that I'm not worthy of proper communication."He just doesn't know how to communicate in a relationship and doesn't have the emotional intelligence to be in one without putting me down by blaming me for arguments when I'm simply trying to have a conversation . There seemed to always be a blowup when I asked where he was after he was gone for several hours. I couldn't handle it anymore.""I called off my wedding four days before the big day. Two of my bridesmaids got into a huge fight because they found out that he was sleeping with both of them. It was cheating within cheating and was easily the most surreal and heartbreakingly awful experience of my entire life." "Months before the wedding day, we had been apartment hunting, and when we found one, we did the paperwork. A week before moving into the apartment, he told me that he wasn't moving in with me because his mom still needed his financial help. The apartment was going to be under both of our names, yet only I was expected to pay for it, and he planned to visit me when he wanted to until he moved in after getting married. At that very moment, I gave the ring back to him and walked away.""His sister was VERY involved in his life and our wedding planning, and she kinda became my de facto best friend. I went to her place on the morning of the wedding to pick up the bridesmaids' gifts. As I was walking up to the door, I could clearly see her making out with someone in the front window. I remember thinking, 'Good for her!' because she hadn't dated anyone during our four years together. I just let myself in, like always, prepared to tease her about her hookup. That is when I saw she was making out with my soon-to-be husband/her BROTHER! I didn't say anything. I just turned and walked out."I only told a few people why I bailed because I was embarrassed and didn't think people would believe me. My friends and family were very upset with me for years. I finally found 'the one,' and everything worked out, but he and his SISTER are still unmarried and now live together in Oregon. I never did figure out what was really going on with them.""I have three cats who I love and have since before I met him. Then, the night before we got married, he casually said, 'Hey babe. I’m allergic to cats, so when we move in together , you’re gonna have to get rid of them.' I was shocked! Why had he not told me until now?"It occurred to me that if he didn’t tell me something important like this, I couldn’t trust him to be more open with me about other things"We had been together for four years prior to this day. Never once did he talk about having a dom/sub relationship. My wedding day gift? A collar and a submissive contract for me to sign, the first line read: 'This is not an optional contract.' I immediately looked at my mom, had her help me out of my dress, and called my dad to get the car ready around the back. I left. My wonderful mother and her friends helped clear the venue. Haven't spoken to him since; he is married now, and it makes me sad to think what she is going through.""I found out on our wedding day that my husband-to-be was seeing someone else. He didn't have the balls to tell me and was still going to go through with the ceremony. He thought he could just keep up with both relationships after we were married. His mom even tried to talk me into keeping up appearances for everyone's benefit. She said that I needed to forgive and forget. I so dodged the intended bullet!"I met my current husband six months after I called off my wedding, and he and I have been together for 26 years.""I had to call mine off because the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with decided to sit me down the night before and tell me all about the trysts and flings he had been having throughout our relationship together. He said if he doesn't come clean now, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. After the list was done, I was crying my eyes out. He said something along the lines of, 'Well, I didn't think you would take it THIS hard.' Seriously. We were going to have a huge wedding, even though I really didn't want a huge one , so I had to call tons and tons of people and tell them it was off, listen to them try to console me over the phone, and crying every time I hung it up."He didn't want to see me ever again. That worked, because I found someone who actually loves me , and we have been married for three and a half years with a beautiful 2.5-year-old son. And he has never cheated on me. I never thought I could trust again, but I'm still slowly getting over that fear after all these years ." "I was about to make a huge mistake. I realized my fiancé was drinking too much, neglecting me emotionally, and was never actually there when I needed him . I was marrying the completely wrong man, and thank god I realized it before it was too late and was brave enough to call it off." "My family was super supportive, my super awesome grandmother took care of letting all the guests know. My dad had no problem with the money he lost in all the deposits. I gave my wedding cake to a homeless shelter since it was already paid for in full. Three years later, I married a wonderful man who is everything the first guy was not.""It’s so hard to explain, but it felt like, in the night, everything, all the love I felt just fell apart as he slept, and I lay sleepless in our bed. It just crumbled and fell off and faded into nothing. I felt pained and frightened, but from a distance, if that makes sense. When the idea 'maybe I should leave him' formed in my head, my unease disappeared, but when I thought about why I shouldn’t, it reassembled itself. I was so tired." "I got out of bed, took a red-eye back to my hometown, and never looked back. I still see him in my dreams and my poems sometimes."Fellow brides or grooms, have you canceled your wedding on your wedding day ? Feel free to share your story in the comments. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can use the form below.
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