Are unhealthy behaviors undermining your relationship? Here's how to tell—and what to do about them.
To love someone is to accept them fully, blemishes and all. We all know this definition of love. Over the years, certain behaviors, rituals, and symbols have become synonymous with this all-encompassing notion of an eternal bond, such as the institution ofHowever, such a binary and rigid view of love can cause us to ignore its many gray areas. We can start indulging in behavior that is to our detriment and allow for behavior that is obviously problematic.
To avoid the pain sacrifice can cause in a relationship, Righetti advises partners to follow these two steps:If you focus on what you have lost after a sacrifice, you are more likely to experience lower personal well-being and relationship satisfaction. Try to look at the bright side of the sacrifice .Sometimes sacrifices are necessary to maintain a relationship. However, there are times when they can be avoided through contingency plans and a bit of adjustment.
“When someone close to us behaves unethically, we face a conflict between upholding our moral values and maintaining our relationship,” explains psychologist Rachel Forbes of the University of Toronto in Canada.
People’s goals can differ substantially during different stages of life and thus the"tools" they need can vary. In other words, although B may be of help to A for a particular goal during a certain period of time, it is challenging for B to be continuously useful for A. Thus, if A wants B to always be"useful," A will eventually feel disappointed..
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