A partner's need for constant approval and reassurance may be attractive early in a relationship, but over time, it can lead to resentment and hurt feelings. Here's why.
as information that’s crucial to help the child feel like they exist. If they are unable to get this crucial feedback from caregivers, they feel a deep need to actively seek that feedback. They need to know that they belong, that they are loved, and that they are enough as they are. Feedback and approval are practically as important as food and air.
over time, as the person with the schema starts to feel resentment and the partner feels burdened with demands and unexpected hurt feelings. Here are some signs:toward their partner, seeing them as withholding or detached.This forms a cycle, where the partner feels pressured and smothered and avoids giving approval, leading the approval-seeker to be even more demanding, causing a cycle of alienation.Once you identify the schema as an issue, having an open dialogue can help.
Discuss ways your partner can be more aware of the schema , and you can support your partner with developing their own interests, activities, and tastes.If this discussion goes well, agree to a weekly check-in to discuss each of your needs around the schema. If more challenges are raised, you may want to consider couples' therapy.
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