How can we actually conquer the negative voice inside our head? Here, an award-winning psychologist offers some of his go-to strategies to escape destructive thought loops. 🗯️
The first thing to know about chatter, says Kross, is that it causes you to narrowly zoom in on the problem at hand."You keep replaying it and think, 'Oh my God, what am I going to do? What does this mean?'" he explains. That's why Kross recommends implementing"self-distancing" tools to help you escape that tunnel-vision mindset. The first tool: distant self-talk, or giving yourself advice in the third person.
"Try to work through a problem using your own name," he says."It is much easier for us to give advice to other people than to ourselves when we are experiencing chatter. And distant self-talk uses language to shift your perspective and talk to yourself more similarly to how you would communicate with someone else that you care about." That way, you can effectively work through a problem without berating yourself in the process.
"When chatter takes hold, it often feels like everything is wrapped up in this experience and you're never going to break free," says Kross. When in reality, these negative experiences ultimately fade with time."What this strategy does is reminds us of this phenomenon right in the heat of the moment. It highlights the instability of what you're going through," he explains.
For example, when Kross wakes up in the middle of the night feeling worry or overwhelm , he will ask himself:"It's always better in the morning," he says, and by telling yourself that what you're feeling is temporary, it takes the power away from those negative thoughts in the moment."It gives you hope that your circumstances are going to improve, and hope can be a powerful antidote to chatter," Kross adds.
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