How to understand and move through your anger without hurting important relationships in the process
why we could all learn to be more accepting and curious about our anger rather than judging or suppressing it. Burying our anger can bend us out of shape and lead us to suffer both mentally and physically. On the other hand, lashing out and letting our anger spill out all over the place is not exactly an ideal alternative.
If we notice ourselves feeling really stirred up in an interaction, the first thing to do is breathe. Take deep breaths and count to 10. When possible, let the other person know you need a minute. Get outside. Take a walk. Basically, whatever works for you to calm down yourOf course, this may all sound much easier said than done. Yet, finding just five minutes to turn ourinward, focusing on ourselves and our own emotional state, is often the healthiest first step to processing our anger.
Interpersonal neurobiologist Dr. Daniel Siegel recommends the exercise “name it to tame it” as a means to make sense of our emotions and find balance. The idea is to describe our internal state without feeling the need toor explain it. The process promotes what Siegel calls “integration” by strengthening our brain’s language capabilities and connecting them to the spontaneous, raw emotions in the limbic area of our brain.
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