'I'm a teacher, and many years ago, a high school student told me he thought secondhand smoke was when you smoked with your left hand.'
to tell us the dumbest things they heard someone say. After reading their submissions, I'm truly stunned that people this stupid exist. Here are the best ones:"I'm a teacher, and many years ago, a high school student told me he thought secondhand smoke was when you smoked with your left hand.
""My daughter, at a restaurant, asked the server for a side of honey mustard. He brought her little packets of mustard and honey separately!""Back in the day, we had driver's education classes as part of our high school curriculum. The teacher was giving us some general rules of the road, here in the US. He told the class that we drive on the right side of the road. Immediately, a girl raised her hand and asked 'But what if we’re going in the other direction?' The whole class erupted.""Once, in high school, one of my in-class friends asked me how to spell the word 'on.' We were in AP ENGLISH.""My friend said how impressed she was with the 'train driver… how he could keep all those wheels on the track.'""When I was in primary school in the library, a girl went to a librarian and asked where she could find 'The Diarrhea of Anne Frank?'""One time, we were at a restaurant near Disney World. It was packed with families on vacation. While waiting for a table in the foyer, another couple came in asking the greeter how long the wait would be. 'An hour and a half,' he responded. The woman responded, 'An hour and a half! Why did they tell us it would only be 90 minutes across the street!'”"On a visit to the Grand Canyon, an obviously first-time visitor asked my husband if anyone had ever been to the bottom. With a straight face, my husband said, 'A lot of people have tried, but no one has ever come back alive.' The visitor believed him.""In high school, I told a girl that I had grown up in England as a child. She responded by saying, 'Wow! Do you speak English?'""Afternoons in the restaurant can be slow, so we would scrub potatoes to bake for the evening. One of the waitresses was helping and remarked, 'These are so dirty, do they grow these in the ground or something?' Hilarious!!""When I was in high school in an American history class, other students didn't know when the Battle of 1812 was fought. It blew my mind.""While visiting someone in Alabama a high school girl asked me if we had the same President!""A highly educated friend stated she would no longer have sex with her husband as she did not want him to spread his prostate cancer to her.""Once, during the election campaign of George W. Bush, one of my coworkers said, 'I thought we already had a president named George Bush.'”"He thought vegetarians were offended by the sight of meat. He was showing my friend a picture of some cheese fries, and when I turned to look, he turned the screen away from me. I asked him why, and he said, 'They have bacon on them.' I’m a vegetarian.""An ex-girlfriend once asked me, 'Do you boil the water before or after you put the egg in to make a boiled egg?'""In high school, my brother's friend was floored to find out that the North Pole was real, because she thought it was made up for children so Santa Claus would have somewhere to live.""I had a friend who thought being a garbage collector would be a great job because they got paid very well and only worked one day a week.""A local fast food restaurant had crushed ice, which I like in the drinks I make at home. I went inside and ordered a bag of ice. The cashier looked at me straight-faced and asked if I wanted it for here or to go.""We were on a first date, and he said he was unemployed but looking for work. 'The best day to apply for jobs is on Monday, since people get fired on Friday. On Mondays, I apply for jobs.' Me: 'Interesting theory. So what do you do between Tuesday and Friday?' Him: 'I wait for Monday.' There was no second date.""I was in an argument with someone and I called her a bitch. She yelled back 'I’m not a bitch!' I know who my father is!' That ended the argument because I was on the floor laughing my head off.""My stepmother firmly believes that you can buy TVs that don’t show commercials. I’ve tried more times than I can count to explain that commercials come from the networks and have nothing to do with what TV you have, but she’s convinced. No idea why she believes this." "I had three housemates while in college. During our first week, one of them almost set our kitchen on fire when she tried to cook pasta. How? 'I didn't know you were supposed to add water.'"And finally,"Before we were married, my ex-wife and I shared an apartment on the 4th floor of an apartment building. Shortly after I had moved in with her, she saw me clipping my fingernails over the bathroom sink and screamed for me to stop, saying, 'Now your gross nail clippings are gonna come out of the faucet in the apartment below us!'" She had a Master's degree and went on to become a corporate VP a few years later FWIW." Now I want to know, what's the dumbest thing you ever heard someone say at school? Share in the comments or use the anonymous form below:
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