These two phrases should never appear in a couple’s vocabulary. Here’s why the damage they cause can be incredibly hard to repair.
is par for the course. No matter how healthy your relationship is—nor how long you’ve been together—bumps in the road are an unavoidable consequence. That said, conflict isn’t necessarily a stressful or scary event for all couples.they argue. Couples who feel anxiety at even the thought of it often share a common bad habit: loving each other, yet arguing as if they don’t. When tensions rise, these couples forget the very thing that they’re fighting for in the first place—that is, their love.
suggests, successful and long-lasting relationships require unwavering adaptability and a willingness to work both individually and collaboratively through conflict. After willingly putting themselves and their behavior under the microscope, they’ll instead respond with something along the lines of, “I had no idea that my jokes were hurting you. That wasn’t my intention at all, and I’ll be sure to be more mindful of that from now on.” They are authentic in admitting to wrongdoing, and—above all else—they are determined to express care for their partner’s well-being.
The more pressing issue in terms of conflict management, however, is that this phrase shifts the focus away from the actual issue at hand. Rather than seeking a way to resolve the disagreement, it instead pulls the conversation into a much more emotionally loaded direction. Simply put, “Do you even love me?” forces your partner to delegate time during the argument to “prove” their love—as opposed to just sharing their grievances in the way they’d initially hoped to.
Toxic Relationship Defensiveness Communication Insecurity Emotional Manipulation Mark Travers Emotional Blackmail Disagreement Argument
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