Mitch Hedberg died 15 years ago today. Here are 15 of the late comedian's best one-liners, to remember him by.
Often hiding behind long hair and a large pair of glasses, Hedberg was among the most efficient stand-ups to ever step onstage; most of his beloved jokes are one-liners. As tribute to the late comedian, we've compiled 14 of Hedberg's best jokes, pulling from his albums, specials and late-night performances.
"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said, 'No, but I may want a regular banana later... so, yeah.'" -"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy all day." - Comedy Central, 1999Mitch Hedberg performs in Kansas City in February 2005. Hedberg passed away on March 30, 2005The Late Show with David Letterman,got 40,000 applications. That's amazing, man. Such an even number. You would think it would be 40,008 maybe.
"I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it." -"If you find yourself lost in the woods, f**k it, build a house. Well, I was lost, but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament." -"I would imagine that the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is f**cking clean." -"If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking the fire exit.
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