Diego Pineda has been a devout storyteller his whole life. He has self-published a fantasy novel and a book of short stories, and is actively working on publishing his second novel.
Bad filmmaking isn't just limited to Hollywood: it's a widespread international phenomenon. Throughout the years, some of the worst movies ever made have come from places outside of the U.S. Whether they're so-bad-they're-good gems or films that are just plain awful, these examples of international badness are proof that lackluster cinema can come from anywhere on the planet.
There are plenty of things that can make a film bad. A nonsensical story, uninteresting characters, dull directing, or a cheap quality are all elements that, if present together, can collaborate to make a movie truly, indefensibly bad. This doesn't necessarily mean that the film is unenjoyable ; simply that its level of quality doesn't compare to something that's produced with actual competence. 10 'Santa Claus' Country: Mexico Between the mid-1930s and mid-1960s, the Golden Age of Mexican cinema made the country's film industry become one of the biggest and most important in the world. After the end of this era, however, more and more movies of poor quality started to be made. Case in point: The family comedy Santa Claus, where Santa Claus gets Merlin's aid to defeat the Devil before he ruins Christmas. Santa Claus is like a drug-induced trashy nightmare. Some may find that appealing, some certainly might not. Full of racist stereotypes and ideas so wild that they feel like they've been pulled straight from a David Lynch movie—if David Lynch movies were bad—, Santa Claus is like a drug-induced trashy nightmare. Some may find that appealing, some certainly might not, but the fact of the matter is that this hyper-niche Mexican cult classic is of tremendously low quality in pretty much every sense.9 'Devil Story' Country: France In the Nazisploitation slasher Devil Story, a deformed man living with his mother in the countryside roams the woods killing indiscriminately. When a couple decide to spend the night nearby, the wife goes through a nightmarish experience. Repetitive and painfully slow for a trashy slasher, it's one that not even cult cinema fans have been willing to resurrect from the dumpster. Frankly, it's hard to blame them. The narrative and tone of the film are utterly incongruous and absurd."Creative" elements are thrown in for no apparent reason, the characters make decisions that don't make any sense, and the action and gore move at such a snail's pace that they come across as dull instead of nail-biting. Devil Story is one of the worst slashers ever made, boring even for those who typically enjoy these kinds of films.8 'Guardians' Country: Russia Soviet cinema is one of the most important and influential in the history of the art form. Russian cinema isn't without its fair share of phenomenal films, too, but it also has stinkers of the caliber of the superhero film Guardians. Don't let its thrilling trailer fool you: This movie about a team of heroes who had gone into hiding having to come back to protect the world is by no means any good. Guardians is one of the worst superhero movies ever made. The visual effects are awful, the acting is amateurish, the characters are incredibly one-note and boring, and the story is plagued with issues. None of the action set pieces work when the audience cares so little about what's going on, and none of the dramatic moments have any kind of emotional payoff. Release Date February 14, 2017 Director Sarik Andreasyan Cast Alina Kiziyarova , Valeriya Shkirando , Sanzhar Madiyev , Anton Pampushnyy , Sebastien Sisak , Marusya Klimova Runtime 100 Watch on Amazon Prime 7 'Pinocchio' Country: Italy Roberto Benigni was on top of the world when his Life is Beautiful earned him a Best Actor and Best Foreign Language Film at the Oscars in 1999. Like Icarus, his hubris led him to fly too close to the Sun, and the result was Pinocchio. It's a uniquely disturbing take on this classic tale about the wooden puppet whose curious spirit leads him into one wild adventure after another. There is, of course, lots of potential in Pinocchio on paper, but the way Benigni executed it is so horrifying and unfunny that the movie comes across more as nightmarish than as innocent. For starters, Benigni casting himself, a full-grown middle-aged man, in the role of a little wooden boy is as creepy as it sounds. On top of that, the on-your-nose portrayal of the story's themes and the overproduced visuals lend the movie a further air of"horrible vanity project by a man whose Oscars got to his head." It's one of the worst films of the 2000s, and it's not even that close. Release Date December 25, 2002 Director Roberto Benigni Cast Roberto Benigni , Nicoletta Braschi , Carlo Giuffrè , Mino Bellei , Peppe Barra , Franco Javarone , Max Cavallari , Bruno Arena Runtime 108 Minutes Writers Roberto Benigni , Vincenzo Cerami , Carlo Collodi Watch on Hoopla 6 'United Passions' Country: France For many years, FIFA has been proven time and time again to be a deeply flawed and corrupt organization. But of course, since the English-language French production United Passions was financed by them, the movie portrays them as a paragon of virtue and soccer heroism. It's an atrocious biographical movie following the passing of the FIFA baton through three association presidents: Jules Rimet, João Havelange, and Sepp Blatter. The cast, led by Sam Neill, Tim Roth, and Gérard Depardieu, may lead one to believe that this is a high-quality production, but nothing could be further from the truth. Even aside from being a pathetically self-aggrandizing monument of FIFA by FIFA, it's an incredibly dull drama with absolutely nothing fun to offer, like watching a match between the two worst teams of a random country's fourth division. Its mere existence is evil, and fans of the sport have tons of infinitely better options to choose from if what they want is an entertaining soccer movie.*Availability in US Release Date June 19, 2014 Cast Gérard Depardieu , Sam Neill , Tim Roth , Thomas Kretschmann , Jemima West , Karina Lombard , Fisher Stevens , Benedict Freitag , Dawn Bradfield , Nicholas Gleaves , Anthony Higgins , Antonio de la Torre , Martin Jarvis , Richard Dillane , Jason Barry , Sean Campion , Conor Mullen , Bruce Mackinnon , Jerome Charvet , Steven Elder , Marie Paquim , Antony Byrne , Serge Hazanavicius , Julian Miller , Roger Van Hool Runtime 110 minutes Expand 5 'The Man Who Saved the World' Country: Turkey The legendarily bad and yet still surprisingly obscure Turksploitation gem The Man Who Saved the World is known by some as the Turkish Star Wars, considering its unauthorized use of footage, music, and sound effects from George Lucas's iconic classic and other beloved sci-fi movies. It's a low-budget martial arts film about two space cadets who crashland on a desert planet, where an evil wizard seeks the ultimate power to take over the planet.For those who love trashy midnight cult classics, The Man Who Saved the World is a delightfully entertaining must-see. It is, of course, of abysmal quality, even when literally stealing stuff from good movies. But sci-fi, more than perhaps any other genre, is allowed to be cheap and campy, and those are two things that Turkish Star Wars definitely is.4 The '365 Days' Trilogy Country: Poland There are no worst-written romance movies than the deplorable Polish trilogy 365 Days. They are the twisted love story of Massimo, a member of the Sicilian Mafia, and Laura, a sales director. After falling in love with Laura, Massimo kidnaps her and gives her 365 days to fall in love with her. This may sound like a solid set-up for a terrifying psychological thriller, but that's precisely the issue. The 365 Days trilogy actually thinks that this premise is genuinely romantic, erotic, and irresistibly steamy. Needless to say, it's not. These movies are so horrifyingly tone-deaf and so shamelessly misogynistic that they're borderline criminal. And just to really put the final nail in the coffin, they're terrible films in every other possible sense, too. The performances are laughable, the characters are despicable, the visuals are uninspired, and the directing is as exciting and erotic as a pencil.*Availability in US Release Date February 7, 2020 Director Barbara Bialowas Cast Michele Morrone , Anna Maria Sieklucka , Bronislaw Wroclawski , Otar Saralidze , Magdalena Lamparska , Natasza Urbanska Runtime 114 minutes Writers Barbara Bialowas , Tomasz Klimala , Blanka Lipinska , Tomasz Mandes 3 'Nukie' Country: South Africa You've likely never heard of Nukie. Believe this: it's for the best. It's perhaps the most horrible film that's ever come out of the African continent, about an alien called Nukie searching for his brother, who has been captured by the American government. This abomination of an E.T. rip-off has long been considered a kind of dare by bad movie connoiseurs. Those bold enough to brave it are never the same again. The visuals are cheap, the screenplay is composed of stupidly written scene after stupidly written scene, and the lack of quality of pretty much every single element of Nukie are what has made it a niche cult classic for those who like movies so atrocious that they cause them physical pain. It's enough to make one's eyes and ears bleed, as if an alien who had never seen a film before came to Earth and was given two days to make a movie.2 'Titanic: The Legend Goes On...' Country: Italy Quite bizarrely, James Cameron's Titanic has spawned several cheap knock-offs. It's perhaps the only movie based on a true story with this many spin-offs, and none of them are of good quality. The worst, though, is perhaps the Italian animated musical Titanic: The Legend Goes On..., about a Cinderella-type meeting her Prince Charming on the titular vessel. Along for the ride are a rapping dog, other talking animals, and an assortment of weird people. The Legend Goes On... is one of the worst animated movies of all time, one of the worst musicals of all time, and one of the worst things that have happened to modern Western society. Why are there animals on the Titanic? No one knows! Why is the dog rapping? No one knows! Why does the story make absolutely no sense? No one knows! But the biggest mystery of all is why anyone would willingly choose to subject themselves to a film as atrociously boring, weird, and morally questionable as Titanic: The Legend Goes On...1 'Troll 2' Country: Italy Those who have never seen the 1986 horror comedy Troll needn't worry; they can watch the English-language Italian-American production Troll 2 freely, since it's not actually a sequel to Troll. Or to any movie, for that matter. In fact, the main villains aren't even trolls, but goblins, who disguise themselves as humans and try to eat a vacationing family arriving at a small town. With its iconically awful visuals, dialogue, story, and characters, Troll 2 is one of the biggest so-bad-it's-good horror classics of all time. Purely in terms of strict quality, there isn't a single redeemable aspect about Troll 2. The directing is awfully amateurish, the acting is hilariously bad, and the visuals and music are cheesy and cheap. Even still, there's an awful lot of fun to be had here for those who enjoy funny bad movies. Troll 2 may be the bottom of the barrel when it comes to foreign movies, but that's precisely what makes it charming.*Availability in US Release Date October 12, 1990 Director Claudio Fragasso Cast Michael Stephenson , George Hardy , Margo Prey , Connie Young , Robert Ormsby , Deborah Reed Runtime 95 minutes Writers Rossella Drudi , Claudio Fragasso KEEP READING:The Worst-Written Comedy Movies, Ranked
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